I have never been all that thrilled about Christmas. When I was younger my mom was not all that excited over Christmas. We didn't bake cookies for Christmas or do much decorating. I remember hearing Christmas Carols playing on the street in downtown Waterloo during the holiday season. I think it was piped in over some PA system right before Christmas. I remember being sort of annoyed by it, not every year though.
I bought my mom two gifts for Christmas. I feel kind of empty giving them to her though. It doesn't have a lot of meaning for me. It's just something I have to do each year or she'll get upset and think I don't love her. I do love her. It should be something special for me to think of something nice for her and go buy it. It's not. She buys me a gift for my birthday and for Christmas. They are ok gifts, nothing fancy. I don't feel particularly happy or excited to get them, though. I wonder if other people feel the same way.
I find myself preferring to be alone these days. I spend a lot of time online. I play games, listen to music, and chat with friends on Yahoo Messenger. I have a few things I do offline, like read books, go to coffeeshops and watch DVDs. I think it's because I am depressed. I probably could use an antidepressant for a while to get myself out of this rut. Maybe I should go and buy St. John's Wort and see if it will help.
Things are going to change in about a week though. I got a new job at a place called Reserve America. I will be taking phone orders for people buying tickets through Ticketmaster for concerts and sporting events. The training starts Jan. 3rd. I'll most likely be working days, so I will have less time online. I hope I can juggle that job, volunteering for Sherry, and minimal hours at the Survey Center. I definitely need the money.
2 comments:
Maybe instead of following the societal norm of BUYING a gift, next year do something fulfilling like making your mom a gift. Do you like photography? Go to goodwill & get an old frame and put a nice picture in there for her, or if you want to use your hands make something creative like take a mason jar and fill it with bath salts. Or take a mason jar and fill it with hotcocoa, cinnamon, marshmallows and she'll have a nice hot chocolate. You seem to be a computer person so look up "crafts" and see the tons of ideas. Then - you're giving something of YOURSELF and not just following the materialistic masses in BUYING. Hope that's something you take to heart. It CAN be meaningful, you just have to be creative about it
Thank you for your suggestion, but I would appreciate it if you would leave your name at the end of the comments. If you don't have a Blogger account please at least fill in your name.
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